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The Marriage of Your Dreams

Hello again friends.  Well, we have almost come to the end of this discussion about the Bulletproof Your Marriage Couples’ Retreat.  Honestly, no amount of sharing here is going to truly let you see the extreme value of attending this retreat, it extends beyond your own marriage for generations.

When children don’t have a good example of a happy marriage, they don’t know how to create one for themselves.  When we are selfish and end our marriage because ‘our’ needs are not being met, we impact our families negatively, potentially for generations.

A man I truly admire, David O McKay, said “Marriage…cannot survive selfishness, impatience, domineering, inequality, and lack of respect.  Marriage thrives on acceptance, equality, sharing, giving, helping, doing one’s part, learning together, enjoying humor.”

As I interviewed couples for the book, Bulletproof Your Marriage, one question I asked them was ‘Who were your examples for a happy and successful marriage?  What was it about their marriage that inspired you?”  It was astounding how many of those interviewed didn’t have that example in their own life.  I can totally relate.  My parents divorced when I was very young, they both subsequently remarried, several times.

You can get a copy of the interview questions at Bridgeport Coaching.  Grab your copy and then sit down with your spouse and go through the interview yourselves.  You will find it very enlightening and renewing.

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My husband was blessed to have two parents who loved each other, never argued in front of the children, and seemed to be genuinely happy.  I recall a discussion after my father-in-law died about how hard it would have been for him to go on without my mother-in-law, if the circumstances had been reversed.  Well, Mom got wind of that conversation and was very upset about it.  She told us in no uncertain terms how difficult it was for her to go on without him.  The bottom line is that they really loved each other and separation for them, through death, was very difficult.

So, how do we ensure that your marriage ends up where you want it to go?  How do you make sure that you don’t ‘drift’ into a separation or a divorce?

The answer is that you must have a plan!  What are the odds of you ending up at the right destination if you don’t have a plan as to how you will get there?  Have you ever gone a trip without some sort of a plan in mind?  Are you and your partner living your marriage without a plan?  How can you both be on the same page if you don’t have a clue where you want to be as a couple?

Its time to begin planning for the Marriage of your Dreams and Visions.  

Here are some steps you can take.

  1.  Each of you write your goals for the marriage.
  2.  Sit down together and go over what you have written.  This will help you see where you are on the same page, and where you may be off a bit, or even a lot.  Discuss the areas of difference and find some compromises you can make.
  3. Now make a list of what you agree upon as a couple.
  4. Make a Vision or Dream Board
    • Cut pictures from magazines that represent the things that you want to do, have, or accomplish.
    • Paste them onto a large sheet of poster board, identifying them as to what they represent.
    • Hang the poster board where you can both see it multiple times each day.
  5.  You may want to make some affirmations to help you focus on your goals.  Many successful people use affirmations to help them see and realize their dreams.  Positive affirmations help you to keep your spirits up and keep you moving towards your goal, especially when you go through difficult times.
  6. Keep a Couple’s Journal of what you are doing to realize those dreams.  Don’t forget to add to that journal some of the things that you are thankful for in your mate and your marriage.

If you put these steps into action, you will be well on your way to achieving the marriage of your dreams.

Be sure to pick up a copy of Bulletproof Your Marriage for more ideas on how to make your marriage amazing.

Have an amazing day.  If you enjoyed this post, please leave a note in the comments to let me know.

Thanks

Regina

 

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