How is the communication in your marriage? Is it as good as you would like it to be? Do you understand each other as much as you would like? Do you get frustrated because your partner just doesn’t “get you” anymore? When was the last time that you had a really good conversation with your spouse?
Today I would like to dive a little bit into the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), the next communication tool used in Bulletproof Your Marriage Couples Retreat. The MBTI is a wonderful Team Building tool. It helps you to understand how a person likes to interact with the world, how they gather information, how they make decisions, and when dealing with the outside world whether they prefer to make decisions quickly or prefer to stay open to new information and options.
Here is what the Myers Briggs Foundation has to say about the MBTI:
“Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I).
Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N).
Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).
Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).
Your Personality Type: When you decide on your preference in each category, you have your own personality type, which can be expressed as a code with four letters.
The 16 personality types of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® instrument are listed here as they are often shown in what is called a “type table.” (The above is excerpted from the Myers and Briggs Foundation.)
Listen to what one of our retreat attendants had to say about these tools:
Personally, my husband and I are opposites on many of the scales. For example, I am an Introvert, Intuiter, Feeler, Perceiver (INFP), and he is an Extrovert, Sensor, Thinker, Judger (ESTJ). Not only are we opposites, we are extreme opposites, in some cases each of us scoring an 18 or more out of 20 in the opposite scale. Do you think this can cause challenges in our communication? Absolutely.
So, how do we deal with that. To use Stephen Covey’s words, “We seek first to understand and then to be understood”. We WORK at communication. We want to understand each other so we take the time to make sure we do understand.
My husband says that he attempts to understand what I express.. He also attempts to express himself in a way that he thinks I will understand his message. Sometimes that may require multiple steps of clarification to make sure that we understand each other. Again, we take the time and use patience in working with one another. Getting upset because we function differently doesn’t make a lot of sense to us. A huge part of being successful in your marriage is communication. Remember that you truly love that person whom you are struggling to communicate with and understand. Demonstrate that love by showing patience.
Tickets will be available for the next Bulletproof Your Marriage Couples Retreat this Thursday, August 4, 2016 at the conclusion of our webinar. I will have more information later this week on the webinar, so be sure to check back.
The retreat is limited to 10 couples as we want to maintain an intimate setting so that everyone gets the most out of it. This day-and-a-half retreat is a life changing event! Attend the retreat, apply the principles learned, and your marriage will be forever changed.
You can go to Bridgeport Coaching to get on the waiting list for the retreat. While you are there, be sure to download the Couple’s Interview format. Then sit down with your spouse and complete the interview. I think you will be surprised at the results.
Thanks for spending some time with me today. I know you have many choices of how you spend your time. I am grateful you chose to spend it with me.
Have an awesome day!